I look back and see how beautiful I was.

 

Have you ever sat with a woman who is brushing past 80 as gleefully as she can, full of wisdom and cheeky one liners, no longer giving a rat’s bum what people think? It always makes me think, how wonderful to have that freedom; knowing no one will clip you for your taboo comments or old timer “harden up” attitude. Instead, your audience will laugh with you, and at you. No one will go cranky at an 80+ year-old that’s best part of the day is enjoying a large mug of Sauvignon Blanc she secretly pours herself to take with her pills at 4pm in the afternoon.

Having spent some time with older adults while my grandmother was in a nursing home and having to go to work with my mum on school holidays, who worked in a hospital.  I would have random conversations with patients and residents, intrigued by their life stories.

Although many of the stories were interesting and colorful, I remember comments from residents as we chatted;  “I remember when I looked like you”, “I wish I still had legs like you”, “the skin on your hands is so smooth”.  These reminiscent moments made me a little sad for them, but also sad for myself.  One line in particular that has always stuck with me was “I "look back now and see how beautiful I was”.  

I was around 27 when I met the lady that made this comment.  It was funny, for when she said it, I was sitting there thinking she was one of the most glamourous women I had ever met. She was maybe 78 years old, lived in a beautiful large home in Melbourne, had the most wonderful taste in clothes, of which many she made herself. Her hair was perfect, nails neat and well cared for. Her skin well taken care of, natural and glowing.  She had lived a marvelous life of love, wealth, and travel. It made me hope to be like her when I was at her age. From what I could gather, she loved her makeup, glitzy gowns, and extravagant jewelry. Unapologetically herself. I loved a story she told me; how living in China, her family had an allowance to hire a cleaner that was part of the expat package her husband had acquired. However instead of hiring a cleaner, she would do all her own chores, and spent the money on jewelry and luxury materials of which she would construct her extravagant gowns from. I found this very down to earth for a woman who could clearly afford the cleaner and the extravagant items. But that line “I look back now and see how beautiful I was” ate at me.  It made me think, regardless of what we have and do throughout our life, do we, as women, scrutinize how we look the entirety of it? Or, do we get to an age where we finally love the body we are in, but are too frail to use it?

Although socially constructed views of beauty are being challenged and our value as a human is less determined by our looks. I really don’t think, deep down its changed that much at all. Social media has simply changed how these socially constructed views of beauty are determined. Big bums of which where the disgust, thanks to LYCRA cladded Oz Style 80’s, are now the desire of many in the 2000’s thanks to Spandex coated Kardashians. But, now the Kardashians are exercising properly and “losing their curves” as publicized everywhere….. what do all these bum implanted derrieres do now? How are they supposed to feel about themselves? Who are they supposed to look like?

I worry, many of us, myself included, will never accept who we are until we are sitting in a wheelchair, grateful for our remaining ability to chew food with our own teeth.  We will have spent a fortune on body contouring underwear, image filter apps and makeup, trying to look nothing like ourselves, and forgotten to live life in the process. I find myself being hypocritical as I work on designing body contouring bodysuits, that enable women to flaunt their bodies. Am I contributing to the negative beauty standards? I don’t know. Possibly.

When I started Bird The Label, I did it because I wanted to create clothing that helps women love their body. Accentuate the good, be body positive, comfortable, and proud to show off your curves. I don’t want to contribute to the unattainable body standards with my designs, but I do want to show women you don’t need to look like someone else to be beautiful. Your body doesn’t need altering, added too or reshaped, it just needs to be dressed in styles that accentuate you, your personality, and the beautiful form you

I do hope as I age, I learn to love myself and accept my body more. I also hope that my clothing helps others see how perfectly imperfect they are themselves.

To be you, as you are, well dressed, confident and beautiful on the inside, is the only beauty standard we need to aspire to.

- Casey