What have you got to lose?
Taking on anything that is outside of our comfort zone is scary. Women especially, seem to harbor a self-doubt that hinders their motivation to challenge themselves. I have seen self-doubt prevent women, and some men, from entering a fitness center. Their self-esteem so low, they couldn’t stand to be seen at the gym or trying to learn how to exercise in view of other people.
I remember my first fitness job. I was a personal trainer and used to work on the front desk at times. The reception desk faced towards the street entrance to the carpark. I would watch the cars come into the carpark, people getting out of their car, grabbing their belongings, and entering the gym.
There seemed to be 5 types of people. The big muscular guy that walked like he permanently had dumbbells attached to the end of his arms. He was very comfortable in himself, wouldn’t even say hello to anyone as he entered. He was too focused to care about anyone else.
Then, there were the fitness bunnies. Popping out of their car, normally in two’s. They would check their reflection in every car window on their way to the entrance. Their cute little outfits and perfect hair. I would admire their confidence and self-esteem. I always wondered how they felt comfortable wearing midriff tops in front of strangers. Something I have never been comfortable enough in myself to do, no matter how fit I was.
Next were the over 60’s. They were so happy when they entered the gym. It was as if the older they got, the prouder they were to still be able to move well enough, to go to the gym.
The fourth group were the creche’ team. The always hectic mums and dads that would drag their children in, often running late, but still trying to get in at least 30 minutes of exercise before they had to grab their child and rush out the door again. Their child dragging their new drawing or screaming about the cheese stick they dropped as they were hurried through the exit.
Last were the self-doubters. The ones I would watch come into the carpark, park, and then drive off again. They would do this sometimes 3 or 4 times before building up the courage to walk into the gym and ask about a membership. Their voices nervous and full of self-pity. I hated it. I hated that they felt this way. I felt it was my fault they felt uncomfortable. I was fit, in shape, young and full of energy. I was sure they were thinking ‘how can this girl help me? What would she know about my fitness struggles’?. And, to be honest, they would be right if that’s what were thinking. I had not been in their position. I think that’s why I always dressed in baggy fitness clothes, so not to have them compare themselves to someone who had practically popped out of the womb with Asics on their feet.
Often, they would ask me, when the quietest time of the gym was; so to avoid having to be seen by anyone. Their embarrassment of being, and looking un-fit in a gym overtaking their thoughts. When I would show these potential clients around the gym, I would try to understand them quickly; not to sell them a membership, but to try and find a way to break down their self-doubt. I would ask them, straight out “what is holding you back from joining?” 1% would admit they were lazy, and they were only there because their doctor told them they needed to lose weight. However, the other 99% would always say “I am not fit enough to be in a gym”. “Who said?” I would ask. To which they would reply, “well, no one…I just think I’m not….I have never exercised before, I don’t know what to do”.
Undeterred by their reason, and determined to have them break through their wall of self-doubt, I would calmly, but motivationally say, “Well, I can help with that problem!”. “How?” They would ask, without a hint of motivation reflected in their tone. “DON”T THINK, JUST DO” I would say. They would look at me funny, “Don’t think about it, just do it”, their head would tilt like a confused puppy, “You know how to walk, start there?”. Their head lifted a little…their facial expression would say ‘oh yeah’….then their much more cheery voice would come out with a “YEAH! I can walk!”.
So, that’s what they did. They started walking on the treadmill. They would get comfortable with that. Then, they would see other people around them while exercising, and realize, no one cared what they looked like; everyone was too wrapped up in their own business to bother about them. That’s when they would progress onto trying another machine, then another. Before I knew it, they would come bounding through the carpark, stride through the gym front door, yelling my name before they even saw me, “Casey, Casey! I did an aerobics class!”(Which they always found very amusing, due to it being a known fact, I am very bad at aerobics, despite all my athletic ability).
These individuals, who would walk with their head below their shoulders, would morph into an unstoppable being, proud of their achievements. Most of the time they didn’t even care if they had lost weight, they knew they had overcome a doubt of self that was preventing them from doing other activities in their life. It was as if, one big wall was removed from their mind, which then made them stronger to push through the next, and the next.
It is these people I think about when I am trying to step out of my comfort zone. Whenever that self-doubt and negative self-talk starts to creep into my mind, I tell myself, “DON’T THINK, JUST DO”. I have seen others achieve what they never thought possible, I can too.
So, I don’t think, I just do. I do 15 minutes of something I know how to do that will lead me in the direction of my intended goal. 4 hours later and I am still going, pleasantly surprised at what I have achieved.
I don’t know if my new business ‘Bird the label’ will succeed. I haven’t worked a day of retail in my life. I don’t even know if I will get 5 followers on Instagram, much less a person wearing my designs.
What do I know though? I know, I can kind draw pretty clothes, I can write a blog post with only a few grammatical errors, I know what clothes look good on different body shapes, I am good at asking questions to those that know more about the fashion industry than I do. If I don’t think, and just do some of these things, every day, I am sure I will break down the wall of self-doubt, and then another, and another.
So, for all of you out there thinking you can’t do something, because the octopus of self-doubt has attached to your brain, try telling yourself, “STOP THINKING, JUST DO” and pick something that leads you in the direction of your intended goal.
I hope this blog helps someone, trying to step out of their comfort zone, to stop thinking.
Your octopus fighting friend,
Casey.